Get Weak

Gray clouds are covering the skies of Redding and we're supposed to get rain for the first time since I've been here. It feels wonderful outside.

The Mose bros finally found an Indian restaurant within walking distance downtown, so we went there Monday (and they went back the next two nights, asking for more spice each time). This is Ebi:

Yesterday was our last day of class until September 30th. Here's what class looks like:

Bill Johnson started off his session with a moving testimony and it gave him so much joy that he started laughing and enjoying God. This went on for about 5 minutes and then he said "Let's just lift up praise to God." That led into an hour and a half of spontaneous worship and praise. That man loves God's presence and is teaching us to do the same.

Next week is retreat week. Every retreat is only 3 days long, but they are layered throughout the week since there are so many students (around 2,000). I'll be spending a lot of time with my revival group (60 or so of us). After we get back we'll be on a more "normal" schedule, so I'll be at school 4 days a week from 10:30am-4pm.

Lately I've been thinking about strength and how much people love it. We spend our whole childhood growing up to be strong. We spend our whole adulthood convincing others that we've achieved this, whether it be through a strong job, a strong family, or strong friendships. If we don't think we're strong enough, we build up walls around us for an extra layer of protection, so that nobody can harm us. As Christians, we especially want to look like we're doing things the right way. After all, we're called to be pure, joyful, and loving. What would people think if they found out we were anything else? Then we read this verse:

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

I remember hearing a story once about a theology professor putting a lamp in the middle of a classroom and then putting a box over it. He turned off the classroom lights and it became dark. After turning the lights back on, he passed the box around the room, allowing each student to inflict some wound upon the box. Everyone took their turn punching holes or ripping off part of the box. Finally he placed the box back on the lamp and turned off the lights. This time, the lamp shone through the box and lit up the room. The box could boast in its weakness because its identity in that dark room was in the light of the lamp. It revealed the lamp to the world.

We've been learning a lot about honor, and what it means to live in a culture that is willing to confront its members for better of for worse. Part of this means being open and vulnerable about our lives. One of Bethel's core values is "Salvation creates identity." If we truly believe this it not only reminds us how we are to live but it gives us freedom when we mess up. I can share my mistakes with others because through salvation I now have the identity of one who never made a mistake. And that's where God shines the brightest in my life.

I think God wants us to get weak and open up to those close to us so that he can shine through us more. The testimony is a powerful thing, and it's only made possible because humans mess up and need fixing. The routine action of humanity after making a mistake is to get defensive and hide everything bad about ourselves. That's the easy way out, but not the best way out.

A box that is beaten up lets more light shine through it and a broken cup spills faster. We have something amazing inside of us. Our purpose is to spill it out. But if we spend too much time trying to make ourselves look good, we'll distract others from what really matters. And those walls we build to keep people out? They also keep God in. He respects our free will so much that many times he will only move if we ask him to.

If you open up, you will be vulnerable. You may get hurt. Allow that to happen. There is freedom in trust. Jesus is our identity. When people expose our weakness, it exposes his greatness.

The song on my heart this week is He is Yahweh written by Dean Salyn.